Friday 4 September 2009

Being a coach is more than listening and giving advice

Socrates is one of my heroes from the history of philosophy. The idea of asking questions instead of giving the answers or well meant advice, has always been an inspiration to me. It might be my curious nature and that I want to know more about people and their thoughts on the world. But I have found that asking questions works really well.

"To solve a problem, it would be broken down into a series of questions, the answers to which gradually distill the answer you seek." [Wikipedia: Socratic Method]

The importance of questions is often mentioned in popular coaching methods and it often has the purpose of understanding a challenge or problem that someone has. It often opens up the conversation and you become an active part in the conversation instead of only being passively listening. Although this is a good conversation it is often important to ask the questions in a way that it is not possible to answer them with a simple yes or no. In this way you do not close the conversation and the person you are asking will often need to think more and differently before answering. This pulls the person out of the blind alley they were in.

If I am the one being asked the questions I feel inspired by it. There is a person that is actually listening to what I say. That person challenge me to go even deeper in my thoughts on the subject by asking all these questions that I am not able to answer with a simple yes or no. I'm forced to think and someone told me once that thinking is important.

Next time you feel compelled to give advice, maybe you should ask a question instead.

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